Cherpumple. Fun to say; difficult to make.

I'm back! A few of you emailed me after my earlier post, asking just what the heck was a Cherpumple.You mean, you've never made it before? Lazy readers. Amateurs. Ok, fine. I haven't either. However, if you're looking for the Turducken of deserts ... This. Is. It.

Charles Phoenix created this monstrosity, a three-layer cake with a pie baked into each layer - that's a cherry pie baked into a white cake, a pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake and an apple pie baked inside a spice cake, stacked, then topped with cream cheese frosting. Yikes. There go every last one of your 3,500 allotted Thanksgiving Day calories.

If you're feeling up to the challenge, or want to go with a layered theme this thanksgiving, the recipe is below. But, be warned, if you do, you're going to need some of these:

The Cherpumple

• 1 8 inch frozen pumpkin pie
• 1 box spice cake mix
• 1 8 inch frozen apple pie
• 1 box yellow cake mix
• 1 8 inch frozen cherry pie
• 1 box white cake mix
• eggs and oil according to the cake mix
• 3 tall tubs of cream cheese frosting
• 3 8.5 inch round cake pans

Bake pies according to instructions and cool to room temperature overnight. Mix cake batter according to instructions. For each layer pour about 1 1/3 cup of batter in the cake pan. Carefully de-tin the baked pie and place it face up on top of the batter in the cake pan. Push down lightly to release any trapped air. Pour enough batter on top to cover the pie. Bake according to box instructions. Cool and remove from pans, then frost it like you mean it.

And to watch the creator in action:

Tofurkey? Cherpumple? What the ...

Posts have been few and far between this month - sorry foodies, it's been a busy November! But, as we all prepare to consume our obligatory 3,500 calories tomorrow in honor of this blogger's most favorite holiday, I had to make time to post the recipe we are all dying to try this year - the Turducken. Ok, maybe not; but, haven't you ever wondered how to make this bad boy, comprised of a turkey (although it won't be one of these two lucky bastards), stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken?

I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't sound easy. Just ask Paula Dean, who crafted the below recipe, which a friend shared with me. Are you feeling brave (or lucky)? Give it a try!

The Turducken
Prep Time: 30 mins.
Inactive Prep Time: 8 hrs.
Cook Time: 5 hrs.
Level: Difficult
Serves: 25 servings, as main course

Ingredients:

• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 gallon water
• 18 to 21-pound turkey, skin intact and boned except for drumsticks
• House seasoning, recipe follows
• Cornbread Dressing, recipe follows
• 3 to 4-pound duck, boned
• 3 to 4-pound chicken, boned
• Paprika

Directions:
To make the brine: Mix salt and sugar with the water. Brine is ready when the mixture is completely dissolved. If the water is heated to quicken the process, make sure it is cooled to room temperature before placing meat in. Let the three birds sit in brine in the refrigerator overnight.

Preheat roaster to 500 degrees F.

Lay turkey skin side down on a flat surface. Dust turkey with House Seasoning and add 1/4-inch layer of cornbread dressing. Lay duck skin side down on top of dressing. Dust duck with House Seasoning and add 1/4-inch layer of dressing. Repeat with the chicken.

Begin trussing up the turkey at the neck. Insert metal skewer about 1/2-inch from the edge and up through the other side. Run butcher's twine between skin and skewer and tighten to draw both sides together. Continue down to legs. With every other skewer, draw together the duck and chicken skin. Tie together turkey legs to resemble standard turkey. Dust turkey skin with paprika.

Roast turducken for 15 minutes. Then turn the roaster down to 225 degrees F to finish, approximately three hours. Remove turducken from roaster once the internal temperature in the chicken reaches 155 degrees F. Let rest for at least 20 minutes before carving.

Cut across the middle of the breast completely through. Plate thin slices containing turkey, duck and chicken.

Cook's Notes: If using a smoker to cook, smoke at 225 degrees F for 5 hours, rotating every 20 to 30 minutes until internal temperature reaches 155 degrees F and external temperature reaches 165 degrees F. Try to keep the flare-ups from the fire to a minimum.

House Seasoning:

• 1 cup salt
• 1/4 cup black pepper
• 1/4 cup garlic powder Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

Cornbread Dressing:
Cornbread

• 1 cup self rising cornmeal
• 1/2 cup self-rising flour
• 3/4 cup buttermilk
• 2 eggs
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 

Dressing

• 7 slices white bread, dried in warm oven
• Cornbread
• 1 sleeve saltine crackers
• 2 cups chopped celery
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 8 tablespoons butter
• 7 cups chicken stock
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon dried sage
• 1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
• 5 eggs, beaten Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

To make the cornbread, combine all ingredients and pour into a greased shallow baking dish. Bake for approximately 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

To make the dressing, crumble dried white bread slices, cornbread and crackers. Mix together and set aside. Sauté chopped celery and onion in butter until transparent, approximately 5 to 10 minutes. Pour over corn bread mixture. Add stock, mix well and add salt, pepper, sage, and poultry seasoning. Add beaten eggs and mix well. Follow instructions above to stuff birds.

Yield: 8 to 10 servings. 

And if you'd like to see the master herself in action ...

Delicious Deal: 40 Percent off at Sienna Wine Bar

Let me start by saying one thing. I am obsessed with the baked brie at Congress Park's relatively new Sienna Wine Bar. OBSESSED. And this is coming from a self-proclaimed brie connoisseur. The cheese plate and mushroom tarts are legit as well, the wine selection is great and the decor is super vintage-y cute (don't let the bar's website, which is janky, for lack of a better term, deter you from trying it). As a summertime bonus, there's also an outdoor patio, which is great, as everyone knows that everything tastes better when enjoyed al fresco. 

The above considered, you can guess I was happy to see that Sienna was featured on Groupon today, offering 40 percent off, which amounts to $25 worth of drinks and tapas at the neighborhood favorite for only $15. I bought mine - if you give it a try, leave a comment and let me know what you think. 

 

Wine + Cheese + Hungry in Denver = True Love Forever

Delicious Deal: Half off at Zengo

ZENGO, part of the Modern Mexican group of restaurants that spans the globe, created by Richard Sandoval, is one of my favorite spots in Denver. Today, LivingSocial has half off at the trendy and delish spot. I bought this one, and can't wait to indulge in my favorites, including the Angry Zengo Roll, Won Ton Tacos and Wagyu Beef.

Yum!

McMystery Meat McContest?

The day has finally come. The McRib is back (cue dramatic music). 

That's right. Until November 22, you can get this mystery meat-and-bone-shaped creation, er, "boneless pork patty dressed with fresh-slivered onions, dill pickle slices, tangy barbeque sauce and served on a toasted, golden-brown home-style bun," (says Micky Ds) at more than 200 McDonald's locations across Colorado.

Strange as it seems to this blogger, this McSandwich (I can't stop with the McPrefixes) has a cult following. And what's yummier to a McRib groupie than his beloved sandwich, back for a limited time? A German McRib, eaten on-location, with $100 bills on which to wipe his barbequey hands? Ja, I think so. McDonald's did too, which prompted it to create The Legends of McRib, a website where McRib lovers can share stories of their sandwich lust for a chance to win a trip to Deutschland, the only place on earth where the McRib has a permanent place on McDonald's menu, plus $10K in prize money.

McGenius? I may or may not be eating one right now. 

The McRib

When the zombie uprising happens, you'll know what to blame.