Cherpumple. Fun to say; difficult to make.

I'm back! A few of you emailed me after my earlier post, asking just what the heck was a Cherpumple.You mean, you've never made it before? Lazy readers. Amateurs. Ok, fine. I haven't either. However, if you're looking for the Turducken of deserts ... This. Is. It.

Charles Phoenix created this monstrosity, a three-layer cake with a pie baked into each layer - that's a cherry pie baked into a white cake, a pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake and an apple pie baked inside a spice cake, stacked, then topped with cream cheese frosting. Yikes. There go every last one of your 3,500 allotted Thanksgiving Day calories.

If you're feeling up to the challenge, or want to go with a layered theme this thanksgiving, the recipe is below. But, be warned, if you do, you're going to need some of these:

The Cherpumple

• 1 8 inch frozen pumpkin pie
• 1 box spice cake mix
• 1 8 inch frozen apple pie
• 1 box yellow cake mix
• 1 8 inch frozen cherry pie
• 1 box white cake mix
• eggs and oil according to the cake mix
• 3 tall tubs of cream cheese frosting
• 3 8.5 inch round cake pans

Bake pies according to instructions and cool to room temperature overnight. Mix cake batter according to instructions. For each layer pour about 1 1/3 cup of batter in the cake pan. Carefully de-tin the baked pie and place it face up on top of the batter in the cake pan. Push down lightly to release any trapped air. Pour enough batter on top to cover the pie. Bake according to box instructions. Cool and remove from pans, then frost it like you mean it.

And to watch the creator in action:

Tofurkey? Cherpumple? What the ...

Posts have been few and far between this month - sorry foodies, it's been a busy November! But, as we all prepare to consume our obligatory 3,500 calories tomorrow in honor of this blogger's most favorite holiday, I had to make time to post the recipe we are all dying to try this year - the Turducken. Ok, maybe not; but, haven't you ever wondered how to make this bad boy, comprised of a turkey (although it won't be one of these two lucky bastards), stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken?

I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't sound easy. Just ask Paula Dean, who crafted the below recipe, which a friend shared with me. Are you feeling brave (or lucky)? Give it a try!

The Turducken
Prep Time: 30 mins.
Inactive Prep Time: 8 hrs.
Cook Time: 5 hrs.
Level: Difficult
Serves: 25 servings, as main course

Ingredients:

• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 gallon water
• 18 to 21-pound turkey, skin intact and boned except for drumsticks
• House seasoning, recipe follows
• Cornbread Dressing, recipe follows
• 3 to 4-pound duck, boned
• 3 to 4-pound chicken, boned
• Paprika

Directions:
To make the brine: Mix salt and sugar with the water. Brine is ready when the mixture is completely dissolved. If the water is heated to quicken the process, make sure it is cooled to room temperature before placing meat in. Let the three birds sit in brine in the refrigerator overnight.

Preheat roaster to 500 degrees F.

Lay turkey skin side down on a flat surface. Dust turkey with House Seasoning and add 1/4-inch layer of cornbread dressing. Lay duck skin side down on top of dressing. Dust duck with House Seasoning and add 1/4-inch layer of dressing. Repeat with the chicken.

Begin trussing up the turkey at the neck. Insert metal skewer about 1/2-inch from the edge and up through the other side. Run butcher's twine between skin and skewer and tighten to draw both sides together. Continue down to legs. With every other skewer, draw together the duck and chicken skin. Tie together turkey legs to resemble standard turkey. Dust turkey skin with paprika.

Roast turducken for 15 minutes. Then turn the roaster down to 225 degrees F to finish, approximately three hours. Remove turducken from roaster once the internal temperature in the chicken reaches 155 degrees F. Let rest for at least 20 minutes before carving.

Cut across the middle of the breast completely through. Plate thin slices containing turkey, duck and chicken.

Cook's Notes: If using a smoker to cook, smoke at 225 degrees F for 5 hours, rotating every 20 to 30 minutes until internal temperature reaches 155 degrees F and external temperature reaches 165 degrees F. Try to keep the flare-ups from the fire to a minimum.

House Seasoning:

• 1 cup salt
• 1/4 cup black pepper
• 1/4 cup garlic powder Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

Cornbread Dressing:
Cornbread

• 1 cup self rising cornmeal
• 1/2 cup self-rising flour
• 3/4 cup buttermilk
• 2 eggs
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 

Dressing

• 7 slices white bread, dried in warm oven
• Cornbread
• 1 sleeve saltine crackers
• 2 cups chopped celery
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 8 tablespoons butter
• 7 cups chicken stock
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon dried sage
• 1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
• 5 eggs, beaten Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

To make the cornbread, combine all ingredients and pour into a greased shallow baking dish. Bake for approximately 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

To make the dressing, crumble dried white bread slices, cornbread and crackers. Mix together and set aside. Sauté chopped celery and onion in butter until transparent, approximately 5 to 10 minutes. Pour over corn bread mixture. Add stock, mix well and add salt, pepper, sage, and poultry seasoning. Add beaten eggs and mix well. Follow instructions above to stuff birds.

Yield: 8 to 10 servings. 

And if you'd like to see the master herself in action ...

Holiday Eats: Buffalo Chicken Dip

The holidays are upon us, which, if you're me, means lots of eating. (Probably one of the reasons I love them so much.) Halloween is the first to fall, so for all those parties I see in your future, here's a festive looking (read: bright orange) dip recipe. It's also great for potlucks and Superbowl parties - a crowd pleaser, and easy to make!

Ingredients:

• 2 packs cream cheese, softened (8 oz. each)
• 1 can (10-12 oz.) chunk white meat chicken. Or, use shredded cooked chicken breast (one large).
• 1 cup cheddar cheese, plus extra to cover dip
• 3/4 cup Frank's Hot Sauce
• 1/4 cup Ranch dressing (optional - adds a little flavor, but also fat. I don't always include it and don't feel like much flavor is lost).

Mix all ingredients in casserole dish (I use 9x9 inch glass, but it doesn't really matter). Sprinkle cheese over top (use as much or little as you like). Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve immediately. You can also cook before and microwave later, if reheating is necessary.